Siegfried Lange

The Wild Horse and Feeling Overwhelmed

Siegfried — Mon, 18 Jan 2021 17:01:32 +0000

The Wild Horse and Feeling Overwhelmed

See the video on this topic by clicking on this link!

As part of the series on making the Wild Horse more practical I would like to address something that is very prevalent in our time, namely the fact that so many of us are feeling overwhelmed by our current circumstances.

Before we start, I think it is important that everyone understands what the Wild Horse is. the Wild Horse is a combination of two of the Laws of OUR Nature: the Law of Self and the Law of Slip. The Law of Self states- we will think of ourselves first, note that we start at this point and do not stay at this point. We move from this point of focus on ourselves at different speeds, but that is where we start. In a similar fashion the Law Slip says that we go to the worst place we can possibly go first. If you would like more information on the Wild Horse feel free to have a look at my TEDx talk that I did on the topic.

Today we want to look at the tendency to exaggerate what you are dealing with. That does not say that we do not have very difficult things that we are dealing with, it just says that sometimes we make this more difficult or bigger than it needs to be. That whole thing about turning a mole hill into a mountain and the reason for that is mainly the Wild Horse. Most people currently tend to fall into this trap, because it is an accepted norm nobody is going to tell you that you should not be thinking that we are all in a difficult time. During this time everyone agrees it is tough and I absolutely agree with that statement these are trying times, but what happens is that what we are dealing with is being exaggerated. It becomes so big that we cannot deal with it.

I have heard people say, “I don’t know how we should deal with this future; I think everything is senseless”, we think this is a new thing. I can remember when I was in school, grade one, I overheard my father say “I don’t know why we even vote, because there’s no sense in it, politics is all just a scam anyway!” That was 30 odd years ago. Today is probably different but it is the same dynamic. We still have Wild Horses that tell us that everything is at its extreme. We tell ourselves that it is going to be bad for ourselves and that makes it difficult for us to deal with the things that we are dealing with daily.

So, my challenge to you today is. Note how you look at the current situation. Whatever your current situation might be, acknowledge that it is bad but try to stay away from putting it into the extreme unmanageable difficult box. Start managing it, by focusing on the small and manageable and work towards a more manageable environment and view thereof. This can be achieved by asking yourself “So what can I do?” We tend to be fast at seeing what we cannot do and when we focus on everything, we cannot do we feel helpless and that is exactly what the Wild Horse does, because the worst thing about yourself that you can think is that you can’t do anything. So, the more we focus on what we can do, the more we will feel empowered. Then we will start dealing with things and thereby start taming that Wild Horse that is currently just stealing from us.

I want to challenge you do that exercise. Have a look at other areas of your life where you are really exaggerating the power of your environment and the power of the current situation. Then start forcing yourself to search for more solutions for the things that you can do. There are always things that are in your power and possibly the things that you can be grateful for and all of that will change not your world but your attitude towards the world and as we change our attitude towards our environment, we can deal with far more things.

Now if you want to take this to the next level you want to ask yourself how you help the people around you with the Wild Horses they have about the current situation and how can you help them to improve that thinking about the power of the current situation.

I hope you have fun working on this and I wish you all the best in this process.

My Underestimated Horse

Siegfried — Mon, 11 Jan 2021 14:55:14 +0000

Sorry, your browser doesn't support embedded videos.

My Underestimated Wild Horse

The Wild Horse Theory has changed many lives for the better over the last 13 yeas since I developed it. People have moved forward in their lives and never looked back. It has impacted teams in ways that they never thought possible. It has shown couples how they are tricked by their human nature into a relationship.
After years of presenting and training on the topic of the Wild Horse I am stunned at how some people treat the gift of this insight as just insight and not a transformational tool that should speed up their development in all areas of their lives.
They behave like someone that gets the newest Model Ford Mustang and is amazed how it can fill up the garage and then forgets it in the garage. This person would be described as insane. How can you have a brand-new powerful vehicle and not take it out on the road to feel the thrill of its power to take you toward the new?
Yet nobody finds it strange when you get a tool to gain more insight and never take it out of the proverbial garage of your life and apply it to the various areas of your life. Nobody frowns on someone never using the Wild Horse to grow their insight into themselves and other toward a brighter future.
I intend to start from next week with a weekly brief weekly video and challenge to help people experience the true wild power of this theory in all aspects of their lives. I hope you will be part of the experience. All I will require from you is your commitment to taking up the challenges and use them to GROW your Capacity.

[contact-form-7]

What is your team searching for?

Sybille Schroeter — Thu, 13 Aug 2020 19:46:23 +0000

What is your team searching for?

As leaders in today’s economy, we cannot afford to have our team searching for anything that would undermine our productivity. Leaders that understand that they influence the way people search are far more effective than those that are unaware of this significant ability assigned to them. This skill seems elusive for most leaders. Some leaders even see it as presumptuous to assume that we could influence other people’s way of seeing the world. Today I would love to share some tips we empower leaders with via our ICOPE Leadership Program, designed to offer practical leadership skills.

There are five questions the leader should have an answer for, to be able to guide the team towards searching for more favourable outcomes. These five questions are:

How does the Law of Search work?
What are we searching for currently?
What is conducive to search for?
How do we influence others to search?
How do we maintain the search?

How does the Law of Search work?

Think of a time when you were deciding on a new purchase—for example, buying a new phone. These days there are so many models of mobile phones on the market; however, as soon as you have decided which model is best for your lifestyle, you start to notice that particular model everywhere. It seems like everyone has one. What is happening here? When deciding to purchase a car, we find the same dynamic. The day you decided on a specific vehicle, that you might have noticed here or there before, it seems there has been an increase in the number of these cars overnight. These cars appear everywhere, and once again it feels like a conspiracy. Someone dished these cars out, and you did not even realise. Now think of a time when someone pointed out a habit in a colleague or partners such as a chuckle or a word they use often. The moment they mention it, you notice it to the point of distraction. Just a day or two before you didn’t notice it at all, now it seems that all they ever do is that annoying habit. What happened here? Did they always do it?

What you will be experiencing is what we call The Law of Search.

The Law of Search states that: “When you search for something, your senses become highly sensitive towards that object in such a way that it appears more frequently than anything else in that category. The above causes you to see these things more regularly. Our brains are energy-saving organs and therefore save energy by categorising and generalising the peripheral observations. As a result of this, the brain saves immense amounts of brain activity. As soon as our brain registers something as important this item emphasises it and where it used to slip by unnoticed, it is now part of the brains focus and seems to the individual as a more frequent event.

What are we searching for currently?

The natural human inclination is to search for the worst things about ourselves first; this is due to what we call the Wild Horse Rule, which states that you would first think the worst about yourself. It does not say that you only think the worst about yourself, but it means that this is the first starting point of your thoughts.

Because of this dynamic, your team will be searching for the worst things about themselves and the organisation first. Searching in this way often results in fear. If you as their leader do not consciously impact the way they search, you will fail them in your leadership.

It is of paramount importance that every leader considers what the team is most frequently searching for and how that impacts the performance of the group. The insight regarding the search can only be established by listening to statements about the team and the organisation. Most preferably, this observation happens without alarming anyone to the fact. One on ones via using the Potjie model (practical leadership model that assists leaders in growing relationships – part of the ICOPE training), can also be used to gain more insight into possible repeating searches in which the team engages.

When the leader has an insight into the items searched for, then, the impact can be considered. I supplest drawing up a visual representation to see what the outflow of these searches might be as is indicated below:

Search	Impact
Exco does not consider our worth	Could impact application for funding negatively

The above already assists the leader in determining what could be more productive ways of searching that follow below.

What is conducive to search for?

The leader now has the privilege to consider what the team should be searching for. Finding the ideal search focus is most easily done by reverse engineering. The leader asks, “what is the desired outcome?”. With the desired outcome established, the leader considers the items which, if the team searches for it, they will increase the probability of reaching the desired result identified. Continuing with the above example, this could look the following way:

Outcome	New Search
Defending the desired funding of a project confidently	How does our team impact the organisations’ profitability

How do we influence others to search?

We never have control over others, but only influence. Influence is escalated most via common ground and trust. Both of these are most effectively developed by showing interest in the other. Interest is most effectively indicated by asking questions. The leader is in the best position to ask appropriate questions to influence the team to search more effectively. Questions are a powerful tool that when used correctly, can be used to shape individuals search focus and perspective. It is, however, important which type of questions one asks. In my questioning quadrants model, the 3^rd quadrant suggests asking a question although one knows the answer. This type of question aims to educate and is most effective in redirecting the search focus of the interviewee.

Questions are amazingly powerful because one doesn’t force someone to think in a particular manner which could cause resistance. It nudges an individual to consider possible alternative focus areas; they may not have found on their own. When the leader frames the questions thoroughly, the outcome will be that the team starts focussing on desired elements which in turn increases the teams drive.

How do we maintain the search?

Humans are creatures of habit. The leader should grab the opportunity of this social science fact and create an environment where continuously searching for growth etc. becomes a habit. Habits are behaviours we repeat so often that they become part of our “unconscious” behavioural fibre. By placing mechanisms in place to cultivate a repeated focus on the areas identified, the leader should aim at generating a set of habits that transform the team. Thus the leader will have moulded a team that will continue searching healthily. As leaders, we should always strategise for a flourishing future beyond ourselves.

Reference List:

ICOPE Leadership Program – https://siegfriedlange.com/training/

The Law of Search – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k1d1hstAcgQ&t=2s

TEDx Talk – Wild Horse Theory – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUAsKgQjPnI

Step 34 Fear and the Law of Search – https://youtu.be/ztE5R5vcWlk

Step 9 Video – Questioning Quadrants – https://youtu.be/sJF26qud3Oc

Executive Coaching

Sybille Schroeter — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 20:46:33 +0000

What is executive coaching?

Executive coaching is assisting top executives, managers and other identified leaders to perform,learn,stay healthy and balanced and effectively guide their teams to successfully reach desired goals and exceed individual and corporate expectations. This is done through:

Helping an executive efficiently innovate and adapt their leadership style to meet big organizational changes such as those required by mergers and acquisitions.

Paving the way for a smooth individual career transition – e.g., ensuring rapid acquisition of general leadership skill sets required to move from being a manager to an executive.

Teaching specific new awareness and skills – such as those required because of increased visibility.

Resolving specific problems – remediation (minimizing or repairing damage caused by discrete dysfunctional behavior(s) that create obstacles for personal, team, or corporate best performance).

How exactly does it work?

Executive coaching is always:

One-on-one

Relationship-based

Highly tailored to the individual clients’ business environment and need(s)

Characterized by first defining opportunities for growth – a process accomplished via interview(s), survey instruments, or any of a host of other assessment tools such as the 360 degree assessment, Myers Briggs Personality Test Inventory, Personality and Values Questioning as well as the Thomas Kilmer Conflict Inventory

Defined, in a goal-oriented fashion, with a structured plan formally contracted in writing

Employ a variety of approaches and techniques

Conducted through a series of focused sessions that occur over time (typically 6 to 12 months)

Conducted by a professional, preferably external to the organization, whose primary role is coaching

Ultimately optimize the clients’ performance so that they can deliver and/or surpass their organizational goals

Include follow-through

Include accountability

Equip the client with lasting heightened awareness and the skills to continue to self-develop

Coaching vs mentoring

People often make the mistake of using coaching and mentoring interchangeably. There is however, a big difference between the two. Mentoring tends to be for a long period of time (can run over decades) and involves learning from someone that is in the sector and that has “been there, done that” that is not the case with executive coaching. Coaching is shorter and within a defined term for example an hour a week for 2 years and a coach is usually someone who is not within the organization and the meetings are usually structured and focus on specific development and leadership issues. Mentoring focuses on career and personal development whereas mentoring focuses more on development in a certain area of an individual’s life.

Who is executive coaching for?

Executive coaching is for people who want to:

-Improve self-confidence

-Strike a better work-life balance

-Open up new career opportunities

-Become a more effective leader

What are the benefits of Executive Coaching?

Increased self-awareness

Increased self-regulation

Greater empathy and emotional intelligence

Flexible thinking replacing rigid thinking

Higher levels of motivation

More effective leadership

These benefits may carry over into the client’s personal life as well.

What improvements can you expect from executive coaching?

The nature of coaching, allows the client not only to develop goals but also to stick to and follow through with goals because the coach will devise a way in which progress towards goals can be measured. Enhanced ability to communicate, a coach works with you to find ways to improve how you convey what is important to you, to the business and to others. And lastly, you can expect better understanding of others because a coach helps you understand why others might think and act the way they do. You’ll learn about actions you can take to help them or to focus them in a direction that is better for the organization. Greater self- and contextual-awareness, coaching is about you and where you work. You will gain insight about yourself as a leader within your organization.

Organizational benefits to having executive coaching

Higher productivity

Better retention

Lower costs

Better working relationships

Better turnovers

If you are ready to invest in yourself, coaching offers a tailored, focused way to connect your leadership development with your day-to-day work demands.

Success and values

Sybille Schroeter — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 20:15:50 +0000

Our Values define who we are!

“Values aren’t buses… They’re not supposed to get you anywhere. They’re supposed to define who you are.” – Jennifer Cruise

When we know what our values are, we can make decisions far easier as Roy Disney stated: “It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.”

But what are your values?

A dear friend of mine Paul Ter Wal once explained to me that the journey to discover your core values is a crucial and important journey for individuals and companies. He has developed a system to assist companies with this and I would encourage you to connect with him via the link below.

But let’s focus on you and your values.

Download the PDF provided at the link in the description now.

Now note on the downloaded list 10 values that are most important to you.

Remove 5 of the values to only have 5 left.

5 are still too many remove 2 more.

3 is a crowd so remove 1 more.

Now that you are left with 2 ask yourself if someone put a gun to your head and instructed you to let one of the values go which one would it be?

That was an emotionally painful step correct, was it not?

When you behave contrary to your values you have this underlying emotional pain in your subconscious and that drains your energy without you even realising.

For your own sanity and success, you need to spend time and consider how you live out your core value.

Clarity on this will automatically give you a greater sense of purpose.

This greater sense of purpose will automatically generate more engagement in your daily activities.

When you are engaged you will ultimately experience success.

President Eisenhower knew that the fact that we have things is far less important than that we know and honour our values.

“A people that values its privileges above its principles soon loses both”. – Dwight D. Eisenhower

Let’s do as Paul Ter Wal encourages us to do. Set aside time to search for our true core values that determine who we are and start living according to them.

May your life be a testimony to your core values.

The Neglected Subliminal Message

Siegfried — Fri, 09 Mar 2018 15:15:12 +0000

So many times I have set with senior executives that had the best of intentions and still the message they sent was not received the way they would expect or was not received at all. Although the reasons for this phenomenon vary, at it’s core there is always the same concept and that is the subliminal message.

Imagine a leader stands on a stage delivering a well-crafted speech on unity. Imagine him/her standing behind a stand while delivering the talk. What would you say is the subliminal message? Chances are that the message would not be received because the subliminal message would be that the leader is not part of the group.

Now imagine that same leader moving amongst the people while delivering the speech. Or imagine that one voted representative of each team joins him/her on stage and the leader shows specific interest in each before starting the speech. Can you see the powerful subliminal message?

The advertising world has realised the power of planning a message starting from the subliminal outcome that they would like to achieve. I have often wondered how much more powerful we would communicate if we would do the same.

How does this work practically? I am preparing a message for an upcoming conference and I would like to use this insight I gained to craft my message in such a way that there are specific outcomes. So, let’s get to work.

My outcomes are:

1. I would like to have the participants searching for opportunities in which I would be crucial to their business.

2. I would want the participants to tell others about me.

3. I want people to walk away convinced that I have changed their lives permanently.

So, my talk is already done what will I add to send the above subliminal message. Below I will break down some options that I have and some of them I would do others would have ethical challenges for me and therefore I will not do them. Let’s consider each point separately:

1. I would like to have the participants searching for opportunities in which I would be crucial to their business.

• I could start my talk with everyone closing their eyes and imagining the worst challenge they have in life or business. I could ask them to imagine what it feels like when this challenge is removed. When the exercise is done I could ask some people to mention how they felt when they had the challenge removed. I could then express the hope that they will find the tools in my talk to deal with that thing. Even without my efforts they will subconsciously search for solutions in my talk.

• I would suggest that searching for problems everywhere but connecting these problems with an expert in that field might.

• I can mention the story of Peter that heard what I said and connected the dots and with my help and has transformed the business. They will then desire to be like peter and start searching for ways I could help them be the hero also.

After reading the above ask yourself which one of the 3 options do you think I will do?

Can you see the can instead of would or could send a subliminal message about my intent? Have you ever suggested something, and others heard you committing to do it? Might it be that your tenses played a role in this outcome?

2. I would want the participants to tell others about me.

• I know the story of John that heard of a solution and decided not to share the information because he was fearful. John’s friend then suffered great loss because of the lack of insight. This story could be used to indicate a complete other principle, but in a subliminal way the story would prompt people to look for the opportunity to share to prevent that they are also to blame for someone’s demise just as John was to be blamed.

• I could end with the call to share the insight since it is free and could change someone’s life. His was used in a powerful way in Amy Cuddy’s TED talk.

• I could suggest that we all send something on social media and thereby creating a behaviour that I would want participants to repeat.

3. I want people to walk away convinced that I have changed their lives permanently.

• Asking participants to write down and commit to do something different and tell someone in the room that they will do this.

• Talking about the importance of capacity growth and the acknowledgement of growth when it is experienced.

• Find quotes that indicate that permanent change comes with commitment to it.

If I add the above I would be able to send the subliminal messages I intended. Now, if the content of my talk is not great my subliminal messages might achieve the opposite of what I intend. Therefore, the planning of the subliminal message may not erode the intentional message.